Friday, August 25, 2006

Break apart

At what point does one sever a relationship with someone because that person cannot stop a bad lifestyle? The level of tolerence and patience differs based on your relationship history and how much the person in despair is attempting to help him or herself.

My heart is aching again over seeing someone close to me do damage to himself. Although his words tell me that he is trying, there have been no changes in behavior - none, that I can tell. He is in emotional pain and turning to a doctor to be medicated. The doctor (or doctors) are supplying him with what he wants. I feel that I am too close to this person to cut off communication but if I do not, I am being pulled into this black hole of suffering and woe. I have empathy for people that have gone through things I cannot even imagine but when someone allows themself to be punished for over a decade without helping himself...I don't know how to respond. I'm tired, my body locks up and I want to clean up the mess for him - but I cannot. The mess I clean is only temporary and when I turn my back, it has reappeared behind me. Perhaps this is a life lesson that I haven't quite figured out amidst the fog of it all. My soul and being loves this person but I am crushed because I cannot help.



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