Sunday, April 09, 2006

Love

This past week has been a strange one. I've been taking pain medication and forgetting what I said one minute or did the next. It's been an adventure. I started to get angry toward my mom for not calling and angry at my sister for pressuring me to go to Vegas for Memorial weekend and she's booked the room (I'm on medication, how can I make a decision? And I would never choose to go there otherwise). Then, I turn on my work PC to check emails in preparation of a big meeting tomorrow. Some guy who is a mid-level annoyance emailed me and my boss at 2pm asking if he can be first on the agenda because he needs to go to a noon meeting. Now, we're talking about a meeting that is filled with high level executives and this guy emails on a sunday to ask us this. he got my Out of Office message that said I would be back on Monday but regardless, he emails me at 4pm again to ask the status of his request. So, I'm supposed to be resting and this guy (who has done similiar things in the past), sets me in a bad mood. My husband made me a healthy dinner and I decided that, my Mom brought me into this world and does what she does. I cannot judge her but only love her for who she is. I called her and we talked for 30 minutes about gardening and how she is. My sister, is just excited, I called her and explained that I cannot make any decisions until I am off medication and that although I would love to see her, I am in no position to agree to anything right now. She totally understood. This guy from work - he is not worthy of a sunday response. And my husband? He's awesome.

what this comes down to is that I was resenting people for being who they are but they are all human and in my life. I have a free will to respond to them as I wish and I choose to do it with love.

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